sol.ace_r

The scenery of the afternoon you left is etched in my memory forever, as clearly and vividly as a sorrowful painting. The sky was unusually clear that day, and the sunlight poured down warmly. But my heart had frozen solid, like an ice sheet in midwinter. As I stroked your soft fur for the last time, whispered a farewell into your tiny ear, and watched your figure grow smaller in the distance, I felt a wave of sadness rising from my toes, paralyzing my whole body. All the sounds of the world faded, and the only things I could faintly hear were the beating of my own heart and the echo of your last, labored breaths. I could still feel the familiar scent from your body, the colors of your favorite toys, even the warmth of the spot where you last lay—but the fact that you were no longer by my side was something my mind refused to accept.

I bit my lip and clenched my fists, trying desperately to appear composed, to appear okay, but the tears that had already begun to fall poured down uncontrollably like water from a broken dam. As the hot, salty tears streamed down my cold cheeks and dropped from my chin, the cruel reality—that you had truly left my side and crossed the rainbow bridge—hit me with unbearable force. My throat clenched with sobs until even breathing felt difficult, and my heart throbbed painfully, as if pierced by sharp glass shards. Even after you completely disappeared from sight, I stood frozen in place for a long time, staring blankly at the empty space where you had last stood, the place where your warmth might still linger. It felt as though if I stood there long enough, you might come running back to me, wagging your tail at my feet, or curl gently into my arms like you had done a thousand times before.

A day without you felt like a long, endless night with no dawn. A night with no sun, no stars—only despair and loneliness. The living room floor where you used to run, the window where you watched the outside world, the soft cushion where you slept, your food bowl and water dish… your traces were everywhere in the house, and it drove me mad that only you were missing. Just because you weren’t here, all the colors of the world seemed faded, and every sound felt distant. Food was like sand in my mouth, impossible to swallow, and no matter how hard I tried, sleep refused to come. When I closed my eyes, your cute, lovable face appeared; when I opened them, the empty reality without you tormented me. I missed you so painfully that my chest throbbed and my breath tightened. I prayed desperately that this was just a long nightmare, that when I woke up you'd be at my feet again, wagging your tail, or that time could rewind—to the days before you were sick, to the days we were happy together. The faint hope of feeling your warm body again, burying my face in your soft fur, sensing the trembling of your tiny heart—that fragile hope was the only light that kept me standing. Without even that, I might have collapsed right there and shattered beyond repair.

Every time the cold wind blew against my neck, it felt like it was digging into the deepest wounds of my heart. The chilly wind made the reality of your absence even more cold and cruel. It felt as if all the coldness in the world was converging on me. But strangely, in those moments, memories of you—warm and precious—began to surface. The feel of your soft fur, the touch of your little tongue licking my hand, the peaceful look on your face as you slept on my lap, the lively way you ran ahead on our walks… The scenery of the path we walked holding hands, the moments we smiled brightly at each other, the nights we talked and laughed for hours over nothing… Your voice, your expressions, every tiny gesture of yours resurfaced vividly and wrapped my heart in warmth. As if you were still beside me. It was those warm memories that allowed me to breathe and endure each cold and painful day. They were my small source of comfort, my reason to keep going. In my heart, I cried out countless times. Begging you to come back, to end this lonely night, to return to my side. I felt as though I could never be happy without you. I hoped—you would somehow know how desperately I missed you, and that you might come back to me. Every night before bed, and every morning when I woke, I called your name. I lost count of how many times I cried looking at your photos. Every time I saw the treats you loved or the belongings you used, my heart ached unbearably.

But as time passed, as I endured the days without you, I finally faced a painful yet inescapable truth. That there was something more important than my sadness or longing. It was your peace. At first, I felt resentful—hurt that you'd left me behind, wondering why you had given me such pain. I even felt anger, asking how you could do this to me. But whenever I thought of the moments you were in pain, the moments you struggled, all my resentment and anger melted away like snow, replaced by a growing wish that you were no longer hurting, that you were resting in comfort. Even though my heart felt torn to pieces, this feeling came from the love I had for you. True love, I realized—painfully, deeply—always puts the other’s peace first. I wished, from the bottom of my heart, that somewhere beyond the rainbow bridge, you were truly happy, no longer suffering, your small soul resting peacefully. My heart became filled not with sorrow for myself, but blessings for you. A quiet, sincere prayer for your eternal rest. That you were not hurting, not struggling, not lonely… That you were eating delicious food, napping in warm sunlight, and running freely with friends. That you were enjoying every happiness you might not have been able to enjoy here.

I wished that gentle, warm sunlight would always shine on you so that the place where you are would remain bright and warm. That beautiful flowers bloom along every path you walk, making each of your little steps light and joyful. I prayed that every friend you meet would be a good companion, and that your life there would be smooth and peaceful. That your soul be filled with joy and tranquility, touched only by happiness, not by sadness or pain. With that prayer in my heart, I whispered my last farewell—painfully, but sincerely. Goodbye. Even if this goodbye is our last, my wish for your peace will never change. I will cheer for you from afar, always. Whether you know it or not, I'll always be wishing for your happiness. Just as you gave me unconditional love, I will send you eternal blessings.

As I continue living, there will surely be unexpected hardships or unbearable loneliness. There may be moments when I miss you so much that I want to give up everything. There may be times when I feel completely alone in the world. Moments when everything feels meaningless. But in those moments, I will rise again by remembering your unconditional love, remembering how joyfully you ran and played. I will pray that your bright smile—still shining within the precious memories we shared—stays beautiful in my heart forever. I believe those memories will give me strength. That the fragments of love you left behind will shine within me and give me the courage to move forward. The hope for your peace will lift me up and give me a reason to live again. Even if we're not together, just knowing that you're somewhere safe, happy, and free from pain will give me the strength to endure these difficult times. The footprints you left in my life are so deep that nothing can ever fill them, but because of them, I will always remember how precious the bond we shared truly was.

Even when the cold wind blows again, it will be okay. The warm memories you left behind will always wrap around me. The feeling of your soft fur, the trembling of your tiny heart, your pure eyes, the gentle weight of your body as you slept against me… Within the warmth of all those memories, I will find the strength to overcome my sorrow and keep living. I truly hope you’re happy where you are. Please, live well. I sincerely wish that only radiant peace and happiness fill your soul. No matter where you are, no matter what you’re doing, may your days be filled with laughter. My dearest family, my love—goodbye. And for all the precious moments we shared, from the bottom of my heart—thank you. Through you, I learned what unconditional love truly is, and how to carry that love in my heart even after parting ways. You were the greatest gift of my life, and I will never forget you. I love you.